I’m still a frackin vegetarian

I made it over a week without meat.  Who would have guessed?  I knew I could.

I’m already seeing some success from this experiment.  It’s easier to eat food I have at home than to go out and find somewhere convinient that has a tasty non-meat meal.

When eating out I’m already finding new options that are probably better than before and loaded with veggies.  Noodles and Company has been a great find.  However at Burger King when asking for the Veggie Whopper (what they used to call it anyway) I got got a whopper with no patty of any sort, veggie or otherwise.  Fail.

Every day is an adventure, and it’s added stress.  What am I going to eat?  I’m still trying to figure it out every day.  But I think eating out less is going to happen a lot more and in turn it’s going to be easier to eat quick veggie meals.

I forgot to grab my lunch to bring to work today, so i’m about to go out in the cold-ass weather and get something.  Boston Market I think.  Oh man meatloaf sounds so good.  God damnit.

New City Slump

Another obligatory update.

I’m always on the fence when it comes to blog posts.  Do I post all the little things along with feelings and stupid crap that nobody really wants to hear about, or just the big things that are valid points of time when people who read look back at?

Well, I have nothing big.   Just stupid little petty things.

I fell recently into what I can kindly call a “slump”.  One day I woke up and I missed Chicago, I missed my friends, I missed everyone who loved me and I wanted nothing but to be back with them.

What set this off?  It probably started with the bullshit surrounding my expectations for christmas.  In no way can I be expected to do anything for anyone right now, i’m just not capable of of it.  From one day to the next I may feel the happiest ever, or the loneliest ever.  It really depends.  It’s kind of a mess.  The thought of added pressure when from one day to the next I don’t know what my life consists of just really sets me off.
I think it slightly falls on the fact that I have so few people that I know, and even less that I would consider friends.  So if you have two friends, and both aren’t talking to you because they’re busy… you’ve lost connection with 100% of your friends that day.  No big deal to most, but when you’re in a new place and you’re looking for some sense of belonging, it takes a hit.

That said I do have friends.  Kat, like I mentioned before and Cassie.  Both amazing people.  But I can’t expect them to hang out with me all the time.  And Jim, who I know through work has been awesome at introducing me to everyone he knows and inviting me out at every turn.  The thing is they all had lives before I showed up here, and it just makes me feel like I have to try harder to make more friends to make up for it.  Failure to do that is just another hit and makes me feel shitty.

On the flip side, of course there’s good things.  Kat adopted me for Thanksgiving and let me spend it with her and her family.  I was very hesitant at first.  I’m not good with my own family, I wasn’t sure I could handle a strange one very well.  But I ultimately was glad I went.  It was low pressure and I felt welcome, and that’s what I needed.  And the littlest thing happened yesterday that brought a smile to my face.  I walked down the street for coffee yesterday morning, and the barista at this little cafe I recognized as the bartender from a venue that Cassie and I went to the week before.  The fact that I recognized someone in the city for the first time just felt really good.
So i’m sure this is nothing that anyone else in a new city wouldn’t feel, i’m nothing special.  Therefore I shouldn’t even be blogging about any kind of stupid “slump”, but I have to blog about something every once in a while.  So why not that?

A vent about me traveling for Christmas

I think I blog complaining about this every year.  But this year is worse.  Christmas.

I hate Christmas.  I hate everything about Christmas.  I hate that it was winter solstice celebration that was taken over by the Christians.  I hate that it’s a social requirement to give and recieve things that probably aren’t even wanted.  And I hate how it’s somehow a given you “spend it with the family”.

This year it’s worse for a few reasons.

Anyone close to me during this move to Nebraska knows it wasn’t easy on me.  The cost to pull it off was many, many times more than I expected.  The amount my company gave me to cover the expensives certainly didn’t.  My parents know this.  Yet they don’t care and instead insisted that I book a flight so I can spend Christmas in Michigan.  And by “insist”, I put it lightly.  They stayed on the phone until I confirmed that I had done it.

And fuck, the ticket price isn’t even the start of it.  The amount it’ll take to fly with gifts will completely suck ass.  American Airlines doesn’t have free two baggage checks like Southwest does.

And the amount of time i’ll be gone.  I wanted to get up there on the 24th, leave on the 26th.  But now i’m flying to Madison on the 22nd, meeting them, driving with them an additional 5hrs and then doing the reverse on the 27th.  My mom wanted me to come back on the 28th to get home the night before I have to be back at work and on call, at least I talked her out of that.  It really pisses me off how little they care.
It just bugs me when I make it perfectly known that this move was hard on me, and instead of them understanding they make it worse on me.

And this is all the logical, logistical stuff.  Real reasons why I don’t want to go.   There’s plenty of other reasons.  Like… I hate it there.  My cell phone doesn’t even work there.  I’m in all ways disconnected from the real world and it just upsets me.
Every time I feel like i’m ok with my parents they pull something like this to show they don’t care one bit and are only concerened with the image of the family being together at all costs and not about what it really means.

I faced one of my greatest fears. And won.

Last night I faced one of the greatest fears I had ever known.  For years I fought an internal battle knowing some day I would have to face my demon face to face.

Last night it happened.  Of course i’m talking about seeing Shiny Toy Guns in concert.

It is written that many years ago, in the prime of what is known as the “Kill Hannah Days” there was a show at the House of Blues.  An act unknown to Gabe performed first.  The configuration of said band had the configuration of something that should have been wonderful.  Instead, the performance came off to be explained, even years later, by Gabe as “the worst performance by a band ever.”

Have you ever seen a crowd laugh at a band?  Like.. actually… laugh?  I did that night.

But that’s the past.  I’ll never forget what I heard on that stage that night, but one must move on.  To live in the past is to ignore the future.  And the future included me here in Omaha, Nebraska, with Shiny Toy Guns.

The show was really great.  The opener, who I don’t even know the name of, was awesome.  I need to find their album.  The second group, “Your Vegas”… eh, not so much.  Too much formulaic ego rock from them for my taste.

But Shiny Toy Guns did a really awesome set.  The light show was a little harsh, but I think it’s because it was a small venue.. and a stage show of that magnitude is made for a larger venue.  So you’re standing right in front of these things flashing right into your head.  They “fixed” the largest issue of the band, the hot singer chick.  She sang less, and when it was her solo vocals.. there was a second vocal track of her.  Very smart.  And I forget how many great songs they have until they played them.  Cool.

And the best part of all was finally seeing a synthesizer on an Omaha stage.  All i’ve seen have been acoustic guitars for the most part.  It’s great to see a mac on stage, a drummer with a click track, and a few nord leads cranking out some noises.  Even a vocoder!  mmmm..

I still like Omaha.  I like it more with vocoders, though.

An Omaha update

So Monday I finally got my stuff delivered.  Any drama with the moving company is officially with the past and I can move forward; and that feels good.

First thing I setup was my surround sound in the livingroom.  I missed having some cranking tunes.  Second was my AppleTV, then connected to the stereo reciever for some 5.1 goodness.

It’s also nice to have my clothes back.  Actually, it’s nice to have *everything* back.  That first night sleeping in my bed again was certainly a treat.  And being able to use my computer not sitting on the floor is certainly nice as well.

I’ve been keeping busy.  Went to a show at The Waiting Room on Tuesday night with Jillian.  Last night Kat and I met up for coffee and talked geek for a a couple hours.  Came  home and worked for a bit after that.

Omaha loves their coffee, and that’s pretty sweet.  I love coffee too.  Just saying.

So Shiny Toy Guns are playing on Sunday.  It’s sold out but I found tickets on craigslist.  $45/ea.  Should I grab a couple?  I’d like to go, but i dunno… hmm.

So yeah.  I feel like I have other things to blog about, but i’m not sure what they are at the moment.  I’ll get back to you.