Radvent Dec 1

So @lasertron is doing a thing, beginning with her blog over at PrincessLasertron.com, where she's issuing a blog topic every day throughout the month of December.  She asked some others if they'd be willing to join her, and here I am. I'm not so bold to think I'll actually blog every day this month, but I'll try.

Enough of that, here's #1.  @lasertron writes:

What were you doing five years ago today? Where were you? Who were you with? What did you want? What did you have?

Lucky me, I get the "bad remembering" part of the writing exercise.  Five years ago I was living with my ex in Illinois, planning our wedding and getting ready for the holiday season.  If you know me and my thoughts about weddings and holidays you're cringing right now at the thought of reading this post.

Almost everything at this point in time revolved around the whole wedding thing.  Our trip to Vegas, the reception to be held in Marquette, MI afterwards.  Who was coming?  What are the travel arrangements?  Was the venue paid for?  Did you contact the cake lady?  Blah blah blah.  All that shit that people think is important at that time in life, but are really just trivial details that won't ever matter again.  Weddings are such crap.  All that money wasted to prove to others 1) How much you "love each other", 2) How big of a party you can throw, 3) How much better you are than everyone else, 4) How creative you are.

What did I want?  Honestly, I wanted the holiday and the wedding to be over with.  As an adult I've never enjoyed Christmas time.  Spending time with my family is not something I enjoy.  The "you spend it with those of genetic resemblance to you because you have to" thing never really jived with me, but I was able to deal at this point in time because I had a partner in crime.  I didn't have to sit in the corner alone feeling like I wanted it to be over, I had at least someone to talk to when visiting my family.

And what did I have?  I don't know.  I guess I had the same things anyone that is just about to celebrate christmas and get married have.  Annoyances, bills and a bride-to-be who may not be exceptionally easy to work with.

I'll do my best to be less bitter next time.  This one is kind of a hot button for me, and I apologize.