So lots going on. Where to begin?Today was the first meet-and-greet with the client's parent company. Felt awkward that I'm not part of it at all. When they welcomed me to the new company I wasn't going to correct them, I just nodded my head, shook hands and said it was nice to meet them.
I've been pretty confident all along that i'll be dispensed with after the acquisition. I just don't think they realize there's consultants around yet.
This new company is a big company. And when hearing them talk they had a similar feel to another big company I spent a lot of time and energy with: IBM. IBM, the company that at more than one occasion called my consulting firm and told them to call me and say to not come in anymore. The IBM that did a company wide disposal of all consultants because they had too many full time employees and not enough active projects that weren't canned.
Big companies are evil souless empires that care nothing more of the bottom line. I happen to be an extremely small hinderance to a 14mil bottom line. Omaha has "a bunch of CCIE's", they don't need us. Omaha has the tools, the technology and the people with title of "employee".
And to be honest, if I get removed from CPWIC I'm not interested in the other options ahead of me. I will not go back to NUV/NAM/NIM/NWQ/NWA, I just won't. I'll reply to one of those "ATM Repair Man" ads on craiglist before I do that. And the idea of being a "bouncer", doing piddly stuff here and there at random places isn't appealing to me either. I like the idea of having some ownership of work. That's what's disappointing if I have to leave now, there will never be any record of any of the effort I put in there. I'd just be "a consultant who was there for a while".
Kelley thinks I should start actively looking around for another opportunity, but I don't know.
And for my music. I realized something. It's been 6 years since my last album. I could come out with an album part Beatles, part Rolling Stones. It could be as hip as the coolest thing you've ever heard. It could have beats that could make your whole block relocate to another state. After all of those qualities, i'd still think it'd be a large steaming pile of crapola. So i'm not sure how to go about this. I'm not happy about it at all. Everything sounds awful, and it probably is.
So i'm not in the happiest place at the moment. A bit "out of phase", if you will. Odd how sometimes the only way you can describe a feeling or whatever is to use a phrase that doesn't describe anything at all. "Out of phase" seems to fit, though.
I'll close this post with a couple things that do make me happy.
My MacBook Pro. It makes me happy. People have donated over $103 (after processing fees) to PandoraFM's hosting. I owe $119 on the 20th, and money has been kind of tight for me lately. The people using the service have each done their part to allow me to continue to run it. That makes me happy. I may even go as far as say it makes me have faith in this human race of ours. I guess I won't push it, though. Lost of people have never made a cent doing something they enjoyed. I made $103. Not as profit, mind you, as it goes right to the hosting provider. But it still kind of makes me feel special, you know?