Next step… there is no next step. Yet.
I love hearing people’s plans for the future. If they’re graduating from college, or just have their first real job and have big plans… hearing that stuff is cool. Having vision and goals are what keep people alive. You need to be driven to continue to do something. A stagnant life isn’t really life at all.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. What is my next step? And I don’t mean personally, or professionally. But something of both. It shouldn’t really be that separate. Thinking of yourself as two halfs is really a shame. To think you have to live two lives that cannot intersect is limiting your potential.
But that’s kind of where I am. Personally, I’m confident I live in one of the best cities in the world, surrounded by some of the most talented, influential, and intelligent people I’ve ever met. This is not an overstatement. I have friends who make things, who write things, who organize things, who turn dreams into reality. They make things happen, and they’re damn good at it. I am absolutely honored.
Professionally, I have an awesome job a ton of people would love to have. Seriously. I make things happen at a multi zillion dollar company. I get paid well, I have good benefits. I would completely look up to myself if I met myself while younger.
But there’s a sense of synergy that is missing. The sum of my parts equal exactly how the math says it should. But damnit, I want more.
This is a common theme with me. If you’ve known me any length of time I’m rarely satisfied. I thought for the longest time it was just because it was simply that, I’d never be satisfied. But after making major changes, I see major changes. Who knew?
Professionally I’m kind of where I wanted to be. So my vision and goals professionally aren’t there. What do you do when you’re doing what you wanted to do? Maybe I just never had lofty enough goals. I never wanted to be president, or an astronaut. I wanted to be a badass IT guy. Sure, I learn more every day, and I will always continue to grow. But again, I’m rarely satisfied. I always need something to work towards.
I only start thinking about all this stuff when my two halfs start to actively start fighting each other. It’s one thing if 1+1=2, but it’s another when 1+1 < 2. I’ve had more and more reactions at work that are similar to “Oh come on. I didn’t have any problem with this kind of stuff, but now you’re just pissing me off.” And that sucks. Little jab after little jab. It bothers me only because I liked it when I was content. But new management and increased scrutiny change how/when/where we perform our jobs. But that’s the corporate world . They squeeze and squeeze until some things slip out of their hand, but still have a much tighter grip on what is left.
Again, not complaining. But sometimes things are enlightening. I want 1+1 >= 3.
I’d love to have a conversation with those that can relate, or have have posed similar questions to themselves.
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Ron S.
on April 22nd, 2009
I completely feel you on this one, Gabe! You put it very well. This is exactly how I've been thinking lately.
I have plans, goals, ambitions, projects, and a lot of exciting ideas, but the knowledge of where I want to go, where I will go, and what the next steps are is still to be determined. For a while, that actually worried me and stressed me out. However, lately I'm learning to really let go, take risks, and not wear myself out chasing things too hard. There really seems to be almost a beautiful serenity to knowing, yet not knowing how or where. It seems that things happen for the willing. It's encouraging to know that being willing is really all it takes!
I've got this growing sense of realization combined with desire. I realize that I can create my life, and affect the lives of others. I can build my world, and shape our world. I'm not sure if this realization created the strong desire to do it or if it was the other way, but I know its a cyclical system that I wouldn't dream of breaking! It seems like when you're open to inspiration and answers, they come. It's really amazing. (“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”) I'm reading tons of great books lately and even get inspiration from unexpected places all the time.
I also hear you on the tech. thing. I knew when I was about 8 or 9 that I wanted to program, 'hack the planet', and design things. I grew up to do just that, which I'm glad about, but there is almost an emptiness left from realizing a goal is met. I've started to realize that if I can really develop and hone skills in other areas, I can start taking my development and creation to a new level and building working business systems, new skillsets, relationships, and the general lifestyle I want to create. It's exciting, because it felt for awhile that I couldn't go much further. There will always be a new coding language to learn, but realistically they're all a variant of the same basic structure and are more increasingly framework based, which I hate. If a new language presents less of a challenge, why do it? And why learn another when you can write it in one, you know?
One of the things that really made me think about creating my own lifestyle and realizing that endless possibilities are open to me is the book “The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferris. I honestly think you would love this book. If you do wind up reading it, I'd love to know what your thoughts are on the ideas in it.
I'm still hashing out the details of what I want, but I've really started focusing on creating the elements within my life to create a totally harmonious and balanced life. Singular life — infinite value! I also love hearing about the goals other people have and what they're doing to get there. How about you? Are new goals emerging for you as well?